There are just times when you have to get away. And much as I’d like, Tahiti is just not in my future right now. So, I end up going where I can. Which at this point, is out to my garage. My space. A dirty, cluttered, car filled expanse of MY space. A place where you learn to LOOK before you grab something, lest you get pummeled with something heavy balanced above you. I place where I can crank the stereo and not care what anyone else thinks. Needless to say, with the stresses of work recently, I’ve been retreating to the garage, more and more. I can move stuff around, pretend I’m cleaning and organizing. Bang on some car parts for a while. Or I can wander in the back and shoot some pool or knock around some pinballs. (Keep in mind that my garage is a little larger than most. And it has an attached gameroom on the back.) And while its not quite as cool as the actual Batcave, I am putting a computer in out there. And you do need a fingerprint to open the door now.

Been a strange few weeks for me. Nothing too horrible in terms of work or Family issues. Just a strange feeling in the air I suppose. Just has sucked any hint of amusement out of me of late. And while I’m not sure that the “vent or die” sentiment that a commenter expressed recently is exactly the direction I want to take, I can at least understand where its coming from. This Blog was created to serve as an outlet of sorts. An Excuse to get writing more often. And a place to put all of the random thoughts that just don’t fit anywhere else. Generalizing a bit, I think that most of my repeat visitors are people that actually know me outside of the web. And in that respect, the frequency of posts here isn’t really an issue. To the visitors that stumbled into this little pit without a clue and found something that amused/interested/horrified you, I apologize for the infrequency of the posting. I’ll try to do better.

I’ve noticed that the tone of my postings has evolved a bit since I started this little project. Initially it was mainly sarcasm and humor. Then it migrated to dull observations of my life in general and the projects that were going on at the time. Of late, its been more hostile ranting. And while that was not the direction that I imagined this taking, its not necessarily a bad thing. I suppose that its a good thing. By nature, I’m usually a pretty private person. This blog allows me to vent a bit and get things out of my system that otherwise might not see the light of day. (Oddly enough, half of the things I’d like to say to the general public at work, I’m just not allowed to say in the interests of good taste and tact.) So where is this going? Not a clue. The good news is that it will continue going. I’m sure that I have more to write about, and I’m sure that not all of it will be funny.

So with that said, I’m going to be revamping the categories on here to better reflect where I’m going now. I’m also considering adding a “fiction” category to the mixture. I need the creative outlet that fiction provides, and I need the enjoyment that I get from creating. Now, I probably wont be posting excerpts of my as yet unfinished novel. (I do plan on finishing it up and actually taking it to publication.) I may take the occasional post to tinker with a bit of prose, or even test out a character or a situation for the novel. They may not always make sense, but they will be flagged with their own category so those of you not interested can skip past.

Also, for those of you keeping score, I’ve changed the Blog layout AGAIN. If only slightly. This time I had a valid reason though. I upgraded the Blog software to the new 1.5 version. And the old layout just didn’t want to play nice with the new versions “Theme” system. So I have a modified version of the Theme up now, and it may change every now and again while I get it to something that I’m happy with. (that creative thing again.) If you like something you see, let me know. If you don’t like anything you see, feel free to keep it to yourself. I get enough grief at work.

And now back to your regularly scheduled browsing.

For those of you that are paying attention.. (And I appreciate both of you keeping up on this little adventure) We have a new look for the blog today. Nothing really horribly wrong with the old layout. It just wasn’t as much “me” as I was hoping for.

When I started this blog page, I set up a few ground rules for myself. I wanted it simple to work on. I wanted it to be uniquely “mine”. And I wanted it to be entertaining. A friend of mine found some blog software that seemed to work perfectly. It was simple. Easy to install, and didn’t need anything special on the backend to run. Seemed like the perfect setup. Installed easy, set up really easy, and I was blogging in no time. Only problem was it was pretty plain looking. I wanted a little more style than the default setup had. So, rather than a crash course in CSS, I went looking for templates. Found a cool one too. Orangy and muted. Had a cool graphic of cars in a tunnel. Nifty.

Fast forward to yesterday. I’m relaxing, surfing about and I run across a site with different blog software. Freeware like the other one. Looks pretty easy. And it uses a DB for speed. Lots of extra features as well. Hmmm. Maybe I can install it and see if I like it. Seemed to install easy. Easy to configure. And it does have LOTS of additional features. Still a little plain though. Next thing I know, its dinner time, and I’ve created custom graphics, and put together a new template with custom colors, formatting, links. What do you know. I Have a totally new Blog up and running now. One that is alot more “me” than the previous version. Suffice it to say we took the old blog down and replaced it with this one. (Apologies to anyone that preferred the orange layout)

I’m sure that someone will ask me in the next few days “why” I changed something that was working fine. And when they ask, I’m going to tell them that I made changes because I could. And I’m willing to bet that most folks wont understand that. Tinkering around with this page got me to thinking about how I approach things and how my life seems to work. One thing kept popping into my head. Something that I heard ALOT growing up. “You cant just leave well enough alone, Can you?”. I really cant. I cant help myself. And as negative as that question sounds, I think its a good thing. I’m NOT content with the status quo. And I’m not happy just “making do”. I haven’t really seen may things in my life that were prefect. There are so many opportunities to make things better. So many opportunities to make ourselves better. So many people on the planet are so concerned with external things, they never really get to know themselves. And as a result, they end up losing more and more of themselves as the days go by. Think about it. Are you content? What IS contentment to you? Do you really know? I know that most people if asked would say they were content with their lives. And I’m not sure that’s really a good thing. Should we aspire to be content? Or should we work to challenge the general notion of contentment. Shouldn’t we be working to better ourselves. Shouldn’t we be aspiring to personal greatness. Shouldn’t we be running away from contentment and the stagnation that seems to go with. Isn’t being content at it most basic level just making do with what we have? I don’t want to work that way. Shouldn’t we be a little restless sometimes. There is nothing wrong with letting your focus wander a bit sometimes. You never know where you will end up.

Do you have a list of things that you would LIKE to do someday, but you know deep down that you never will actually do them? Does that bother you? It should. What’s stopping you from crossing things off that list? Before you start, I’ve heard all the excuses. People are afraid of doing new things. People are afraid of failing. And people are worried about what other people will think. I hate to be the one to point this out, but those are all excuses. Fear is a great motivator. It encourages you to rise to the occasion. Fear makes you stronger. Failing is even good for you. No one likes to fail, but the important concept here is what happens AFTER you fail. You can either give up, or you can learn from your failure and give it another go. (Any guesses which option is better?) And lastly, WHO CARES what other people think? They aren’t living your life for you. And odds are they are miserable anyways. Its not about failure or fear. Its about trusting yourself and taking a chance. Its like the cheezy lottery clich?. “You cant win if you don’t play”. Sitting at home and being content never gets you anything but old. And the only thing you are missing out on is your own life.

I’m not saying that everyone should dash out and run with the bulls or take up skydiving. (2 items that are NOT on my list of things to do). I am suggesting that everyone sit down for a minute and really take a look at yourself. What do you really want to do with your life? What can you do BETTER in your life? What things are you really not happy with in your life? Everyone should have something on your lists. Start small. Don’t “settle” for one item a day. Take a little extra time and tinker with things to make them better. No matter what happens you are going to get something out of it. Don’t worry about making mistakes, learn from them. Don’t worry about what other people think. They are jealous that you are doing and they are not. Make yourself happy. Sooner than you think, you wont be able to imagine being Content with content. Your life will be fuller and richer and you will feel better about alot of things. You only get one shot at life, and there is no try before you buy deal here. What have you got to lose?

As for me. I changed the Blog pages because I could. What are you going to change in your life?