Welcome to Guy land.

Well, I’m still working on the garden scale train layout. I knew it was going to be a long term project. I wasn’t aware that it would be an eternal sort of a thing. It seems that no matter how long I work out there it really doesn’t look like much has happened. Now don’t get me wrong.. I’m enjoying myself, and I’m really looking forward to the completed product. (I’m thinking it will be done before the next ice age comes.) I’m just not seeing any major changes out there yet. I even decided to spray paint on the ground yesterday so there was some visible progress out there. I DO have the retaining wall finished. (Which is a HUGE Plus. Technically speaking we started that wall almost 3 years ago before we built the barn. It was a big wall, it took a while to finish.) I do still need to move some dirt for backfilling the wall. (But moving dirt seems to be a constant requirement for the layout.)

At any rate, I was at a point yesterday where I had to get right down to the important parts of the project. Another Trip to the hardware store for more parts. This should have been a good thing.

I LIKE the hardware store. Its a Guy space. Its full of big, dangerous, loud things. I like big, dangerous and loud. (Look at the cars I drive) I must confess though, its lost some of its appeal recently. Let me interject at this point that the hardware store in question just recently moved into a brand new building, a larger, allegedly niftier building. Everything is brand new, and they have expanded their offerings. Tall ceilings, bigger shelves, more STUFF to look at. Now, usually I’m a big fan of “Bigger is Better”. Give me more, make it larger, and throw in some loud noises and blinking lights and I’m happy. Call me sentimental, but I miss the old place. At the old store, I knew where everything was. I was master of all I could see. It was MY Store, I just let the teeming masses shop there when I didnt need anything. The new store is nice, dont get me wrong. But its just not the same. Something is missing. I am fairly certain that every night, they move stuff around though. I cant find anything without a serious amount of wandering around with a blank stare on my face. (Which is NOT a good thing at at hardware store. Guys are supposed to stride through the hardware store with a sense of purpose. We are supposed to instinctively know our way around in a place like that. The hardware store is supposed to be “Guy Space”. A place where you feel welcome. A place you understand. A place you dont have to Ask for help to navigate.)

On the bright side, I realized that I am not alone. During my tour of the store yesterday, I noticed LOTS of folks wandering around with a clueless look in their face. Most of them infact had some level of confusion etched into their brows. I went in yesterday for a few specific items. A replacement bulb for an exterior light, Garden stakes, Quickrete, some 10″ or larger PVC Pipe (Or Aluminum ducting), and possibly a new line level. All in all a pretty short list. (Especially for the hardware store) It should have taken me about 10 minutes to grab a cart and complete my list. Which would have left me ample time to browse the tool section for anything useful. (I was there without female supervision, which should have been a perfect opportunity for massive “Toolus-Upgradeimus”)

I ended up wandering around with a blank stare looking up and down most of the aisles and not really seeing what was there. I was so busy trying to find the things I needed, I didn’t really get to browse any. This is taking all the fun out of going to the hardware store. Now I’m not a store designer, so I’m not trained in where to put what in a store to make it perfect. But lets take a look at the items on my list and see where they live in the store.

Halogen bulb for an outdoor floodlight. (Old store had the bulbs and the lights in the same isle. Large works lights were on the other side of the isle, requiring only a quick U turn at the end of the aisle.) New store has a HUGE lighting section. Although its L shaped and wraps around mops, buckets and brooms. (Which makes perfect sense I suppose. You can get a broom to sweep up after you put up a new light so you can see.) At any rate, I headed for the lighting section, assuming that’s where the bulbs would live. Bulbs, bulbs.. No bulbs.. Turns out that the bulbs are at the front of one of the aisles at the front of the store. (Offset about 3 aisles from the lighting section).

OK, At least I have one item on the list.. I’m close to the garden center, so lets go look for the wooden stakes. Wander, wander, wander.. Well, the landscape blocks are out here. Lots of plants. Metal edging. Lattice panels. No stakes. So I corner an employee and ask where they are. Easy enough. They tell me to go back into the store, all the way to the other end, hang a left and shoot for the back wall. At the back wall, take another left and they should be about 3 aisles in right on the back wall. Alrighty then. Makes sense.. Wander across to the other side of the store.. Look on the back wall. Aaaaah, here they are. 16″ stakes. (Tucked down with the FENCING parts.) Wow, I had no idea there was such a demand for 16″ tall fences.. This makes sense..

OK, 2 down. Now we are looking for Quickrete. (Old Store. No problem. Concrete, Quickrete, mortar, stucco. all in the same place for one stop shopping) Easy enough. I saw some concrete bags down by the lumber at the front before I made my turn. (At the end of the Roofing aisle no less) So, I head back up to the front to check. Sure enough, concrete, concrete patch, stucco.. No Quickrete. Wander a little further. Find a nice shelf full of glass blocks and a shelf of concrete tint. (No concrete anywhere around there, but lots of colors for it) No mortar for the blocks either. I figure that maybe the Quickrete is with the mortar. (Wherever that is.) End up down in the carpet and tile aisle looking mortar. Still no Quickrete. Grab another employee and ask for a location. They send me to Fencing. Perfect. Makes sense.. I guess.. Here we go. Tucked back in next to chain link and vinyl slats. just where I’d think to put Quickrete. Man, most of the bags look nasty. Not sure I want to risk filling my trunk with Quickrete from a hole in the bag. I’ll bring the trailer back and grab that next trip.

OK. 3 items off the list. Man, I’ve been here a long time.. OK. Do I want to look for the pipe? Not today. I’ll just see if I can find a level on the way out. Might need the trailer for the pipe anyways. Tool area. OK. I know where that is. easy enough.. Levels, levels. Here we go. Perfect. Easiest item today.. Now to get out of here and head home where its safe. Self checkout. (This is a cool idea. Although its temperamental enough they have a guy there to come over and help you with it. Which to me kinda makes him a cashier. Only difference is we are both on the same side of the counter.)

So after spending the better part of an hour wandering around the hardware store, I walked out with 3 items out of the 5 on my list. I also walked out with a new sense of dread. I used to look forward to grabbing parts and supplies and tools. Now I’m not so sure. Maybe I’ll get used to the new place. I’m not sure though. I’m all for bigger if its better. But I’d like the better part to go with the bigger part.

Compared to my shopping trip, my dirt moving and landscaping was downright productive yesterday. Next time I go for tools or parts I’m taking snacks with me. Just in case it takes longer than I planned..